I’ve been looking at site designs since January, which in Aunt Becky terms, is like a lifetime ago. I’m not a site design person. I don’t like to design sites. Frankly, I could do without ever having to do anything but write for my blogs because the minute you start yammering about “php” and “linux” and “code” I’m suddenly interested in chewing off my fingers.
But since I’ve been blogging since Jesus rode to school on a dinosaur and I waited until January to learn about site design, I’d say that’s kind of a win.
Since then, though, I cannot tell you how many sites I’ve looked at. I’ve carefully looked at probably eleventy-billion templates, no doubt infecting my computer with numerous viruses trying to find the one that shouted, “HEY, AUNT BECKY, YOU CAN CUSTOMIZE THE SHIT OUT OF ME.”
(cue Bevis-like laughter)
One of my favorite places to find excellent WordPress themes is Smashing Magazine. I’ve tried out a lot of their themes. Some are good, some are broken, some are fucking amazing. (this is not one of them. Neither is Mommy Wants Vodka).
But I’m in the middle of designing a new site and I needed a new template. Turning to my favorite online magazine, I found one that I liked very much:
It was like a party in my motherfucking pants, I was so excited. See, I hate designing shit. It makes me want to stab people in the neck because I suck at it.
So after my victory dance around the living room, I sat back down to look at the site (read: surf porn). Eventually I got to the footer (area at the bottom of the blog) area.
It had some ads in for some third party vendors, like FREE ONLINE POKER and BEST TRAVEL DEALS.
And Your Aunt Becky was all, oh haaail no. Because, no. You’re not advertising for your shitty ass crap on my blog without my express permission and without the site OWNER (i.e. ME) getting to decide what to do with the proceeds of the ads (this would be going to charity).
That’s fucking BULLSHIT.
So I figured that I’d have Dave do some editing of the theme when he got home because that’s what nerds do: they edit code out of stuff because they’re magical gnomey people that fix the shit I break. And remove bullshit ads from the footer areas of blogs!
Then I went and ate a magically delicious Uncrustables and worked (read: surfed more porn. The Internet has a LOT of porn.).
Eventually, The Daver got home and asked me why I’d called him 37 times about the footer area of my blog. I dragged him to the computer and he took a look while I went into the other room to play Bejeweled because I don’t enjoy anything about “coding” unless it’s the genetic code, and this was not.
Then he started swearing. My ears perked up with interest and I dashed into the room, because Dave gets annoyed a lot, but he gets really fucking mad once every 2-3 years. (I get really fucking mad every 2-3 hours)
Turns out, that the people who designed the Obscure WordPress Theme, WP-Crunchy, have secured their ADS under a Creative Commons License.
You can PAY $35 to have the footer ads removed (ads, not for WP-Crunchy design, which I would expect, but for FREE ONLINE POKER). Ads, of course, that are not chosen BY you or FOR you, but by the SITE people.
Pranksters, that’s bullshit.
Creative Commons licenses are intended to protect US, the people who write their words, put their art, their STUFF online. I understand why he’d want credit for his template. I’d be more than happy to sing the praises of a template designer. But not by giving a third party advertiser free real estate on my fucking blog. I’d pay $35 for a template, but not to have you take off the ads.
Especially not under a good-faith license designed to protect our work. That’s a sneaky way to make a quick buck and it makes me Furious fucking George.
So here’s a Mushroom Print JUST FOR YOU, WP-Crunchy for being a total assbag. Charge for your fucking templates like everyone else.
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