Picture this: You come home to find your children’s lunch congealed on the dining room table. Their toys, along with a few paper towels, are strewn across the play room and living room. The person who has spent the afternoon with your children complains loudly about his/her exhaustion and the children’s bad behavior. Would you ever hire this babysitter again?
No, of course not. But if the person is the child’s parent, then days like this happen sometimes. Right? You’d get over it, maybe even help clean up the various messes. You’d commiserate over temper tantrums and the exclamations of, “NO! I DO IT MYSELF!”
Yet, when I mentioned to several people last weekend that Hubby was with the children, they cried, “It’s so great that he baby-sits!”
Excuse me folks, but he’s their FATHER. I don’t pay him to watch our children. He doesn’t pay me to watch them (although maybe we should take all those corporate tax breaks and instead use the money to pay parents to take care of their children. . .I wonder how much I’d make a week?), either. We’re the PARENTS.
That’s why it’s okay when one of us slacks off on that whole cleaning up after them thing. Or when we (okay, usually me) let them watch three shows in a row so that we can clean the kitchen, sort the laundry and write a blog. I didn’t slack like that when I was a baby-sitter because I was trying to do a good JOB. But parenting is way more than a job. It has to be, otherwise there’d be pay, health insurance and a 401k. And vacations. And lunch breaks. And the opportunity to wear cute shoes.
So let’s not call a parent watching his own damn children baby-sitting, mmmmkay? And let’s not act so impressed. If the average 14 year old can pull it off for a few hours, shouldn’t an adult male be able to do it for an entire day?
It really is incredible the way people think that a man must be some sort of saint to stay home with his own kids while his wife is out of the house. As if it’s her job, and he’s doing her some huge favor by taking over for a few hours. It’s no wonder men actually feel that way sometimes, given how many people act like he’s a goddamn hero for it.
AMEN!!!
I know I’ve been guilty of using the term babysitting, because I don’t know how else to refer to it. “Yes, their dad is parenting tonight.” sounds awkward.
But I totally agree with your sentiment.
UGH! This is one of my biggest pet peeves! As a mom, I don’t ‘babysit’ my kids. I hate when my friends say “I can’t do xx, ’cause my husband won’t babysit.” I could go on, but I won’t.
Just UGH.
What bugs the shit out of me, is when the other PTA moms gush and goo over the SAHD in the PTA. I know it’s not the norm, and I am sure they are glad that there’s a dude at these boring PTA meetings, but come on!