Dear Parents of MY son,
You decided I would raise your son because I was married to his father. I grew to love him and he is my son now. I raised him and my other children mostly by myself. I went to doctor appointments and school conferences and school plays.
I am the one who got the Christmas and Mother’s Day presents that were glued together with so much love and care. When his dad left for Iraq for over a year you still thought that *I* was the best parent for him.
That is until his father and I got divorced.
That is when the 2 of you decided that the place for him was with a *real* parent. WTF! I’m his real parent. Not you.
Giving birth to someone does not neccessarily make you a fit parent. I sat up with him through the night with fevers and ear infections. I was Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. He called me MOM! You took my son from me and I was devastated. So were his brother and sister, by the way.
I dealt, I really didn’t have much choice, I have no legal rights to this boy who grew inside my heart. For a year you tossed him around and back and forth.
Then you decide once again that I am the best place for him and I get my boy back. I was elated! I love him so much. I am more than happy to have him back.
You told me you would help out financially or whatever any way you could since he is your responsibility and not mine (your words, not mine) Fine. Not holding my breath.
When I called and said he needed school clothes and you threw a fit about spending some money on him shouldve been my first clue. But what you told me when he needed new shoes…
I realize that he shouldn’t have ripped his shoes apart because there was a little tear in them, but he did. Kids do stuff like that. So I called you just to let you know. You are his *real* parents after all. But your response? You told me that while you have do a pair of shoes for him, you but aren’t going to give them to him because they are too expensive……
OMG are you serious! YOUR KID HAS NO SHOES! I know you’re broke, so am I. I have a family to raise. But don’t worry I will clothe MY son and buy him what he needs cause I am his REAL parent.
And nothing you say will ever change my mind. He chose to live with me and not you. He will ALWAYS have a home here and he knows he is wanted and loved. And just so you know for THAT for being such shitty parents I say you deserve a giant ass mushroom print!
However I do feel the need to also thank you for giving me such a wonderful boy to raise. I love him so very much.
You. Are. Wonderful.
You are the example of what a woman is. You are an example of what it means to be a mother.
I have problems with this, basically because my son lives with his dad and new step mom. He calls her mom. He does everything with her. He refuses to see me because of the poison they put in his head. She is no more his mother than the man in the moon, but she stole my son away from me. So, while you believe you’re his ‘real’ mom, you’re not. You may be the woman who is raising him, and while this situation is odd and I obviously don’t know the whole of it, you calling yourself that boy’s REAL mom when you’re not, breaks the heart of a REAL mom who’s lost her son.,
Sounds to me, like the boy is happier with CHOSEN mom. Like the old saying: anyone can be a mother, it takes a special someone to be a mom. As for your situation (which is entirely different than the poster’s) sounds like PAS is in play on both sides of the fence and should be studied up on for the welfare of the child(ren) involved.
His mother has always chose herself over him. She is the one who called me and asked me to take care of him because she was incapable. When he was living with her, and his father for that matter, they bounced him back and forth school to school and home to home. I completely understood their reasoning when the divorce first happened. However after 3 years and you are still calling me for help then that isn’t because I stole her son, she gave him to me. I do want to say though for the most part I have a pretty good relationship with both of his other parents. We talk and communicate, just sometimes I don’t agree with how they go about things. His mom will call me and say things to me like “How is OUR son today” So while I bitch and moan sometimes everything is usually just fine and we get along pretty well.
I think that Becky’s situation is much different than yours. I’m in a similar situation to you and I understand precisely how you feel. You are his mother. You should be very proud of the amazing job you do.
I believe it is too, just wanted it known that I didn’t just take him, he was handed to me. I was asked by both his parents if I could keep him because neither one of them are stable enough in their lives right now.
Your son is lucky to have such a wonderful and caring mother. So sorry you have to go through this.
I swear, I could have written most of that myself. My husband’s ex-wife is such a loser freak that my step-son chose to move in with us. I love the child dearly, but we still have to deal with that witch. Just wish she’d fall off the planet. She’s a scum sucker. Really, she’ll suck anything that comes her way. Hence, the giant mushroom print on her cheek.
My heart goes out to you….
WOW…just wow. This little boy is lucky to have you. There should be more people like you in the world. To people like the self-titled “real” parents, they don’t deserve the privelege of procreation. My oldest 2 children’s father (sperm donor) has absolutely nothing to do with them, and my husband has raised them as his own since they were very little. I would be damned if I’d let my ex call himself their daddy in my presence. A parent is someone who loves and cares for a child. Not someone who gave them their DNA.
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You are his real mom, and kudos to you for having the compassion, the heart, and the balls to be so. Anyone can be a mother, but it takes a kick-ass, strong, loving woman to be a mom.
Like Suzie, I could have written this for myself too. I have two boys, one that was born of my flesh, and one that, as you say, grew in my heart. My youngest happens to have a different “real” mother. I am the one he calls mom, I am the one who comforts him when he is hurt, I am the one who puts him in his place when he’s acting like an ass, I am the one he cries for. I am Santa Clause, I am the Tooth Fairy, I am mom. I might not be his biologically “real” mom, but when his “real” mom decided she didn’t want anything to do with that boy, I did become his real mom.
And any woman who decides they don’t want their children, that it’s too much to be a “real” mom, deserves not one mushroom print, but thousands on behalf of all the other real moms out there.
AMEN! Giving birth to a child does not automatically make you a fit parent. I adopted my twin boys from my husband’s ex- just so they would never have to leave this house. And to my husband’s ex- coming around with a gift card or a pathetic little $25 every 5 years does not give you permission to re-enter their lives. You left them 16 years ago- stay gone!
Kudos to you for raising him when his own mother could not. It takes a strong person to raise another’s child. My husband has helped me to raise my 8 year old since she was 3. To her, even though she has to see her biological father every now and again, my husband is her real daddy. That’s all that matters.